CHEEKINESS by BLASPHEME BOURNE
Blaspheme Bourne
 
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calhm

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Hey friends! Click here for calhm BRAND POSITION

Ladies, Gents: Meet Jason Hargrove (aka Salty_Soul). He's my brother from a test-tube mother. Yessah! The first born child of our clone army.

For most of my life Jase has been a thorn in my side. Rotten positivity. He's always preaching the high-road; always philosophizing on this and that. He's a brand strategist. He's one smart cookie. And his ego is typically out of control.

He and I don't get along all that well. He talks too much. So yeah, we fight. (And in terms of physical stature I will always get the better of him.) I beat him in popularity too. Back when we were haute on Facebook I had four times the friends leaving flirty messages on my wall. I'm the guy that attracts people at parties, restaurants and lounges. Jase just isn't all that popular with the peeps. Sucka! He's always jealous. He always walks with wounded pride. And so I'm his arch nemesis.

In nearly every way I dominated him throughout 2007. Our struggle was a glorious crescendo of fist fights and back stabbing. Until BAM! Denouement! He submitted and I won all his holdings. His company Soulular, his life: all mine. And hence he was banished to Margaritaville where he spent his days lounging on the beach doing God-knows-what. But now that it's 2008, I've welcomed him back. Time served.

One thing I can say about Jason is that his heart is in a good place. His passion is to help brands that create positive change in the world. (That's what he used to do at Soulular.) Now that the brand is mine he's gone and launched something somewhat new: calhm BRAND POSITION, a platform for his existing clients and new pursuits.

SO. For the moment, bygones be bygones. I wish him well, daft blastard that he is. Let's see how long this peace holds.

— BOURNE

 

Submitted by Blaspheme Bourne on Wed, 01/09/2008 - 7:01pm.

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